Have you noticed how after some time, most any relationship starts to lose its luster? When we first meet someone, we see them as luminous and exciting. We admire their shiny qualities and overlook any negative ones.

Over time, though, the newness fades and if things get really bad, we start seeing only what annoys us. It is difficult to rekindle the original spark of a new relationship, because the reality is that we didn’t know the person that well, and we usually see what we want to see at the beginning of a relationship.

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If the relationship stands the test of time and we deepen our connection with the other person, then it is a good practice to keep seeing the best in them. We do this by making the other person sacred, focusing on their good qualities, and witnessing their humanness.

Here is a practice that helps you do this.

Seeing the Sacred in Others:
Choose the person you wish to work with and come to sit quietly with your eyes closed. Visualize him or her in your mind’s eye and now see the person filled with light, or surrounded by a glow. You could even imagine them with a halo—a symbol for those who have attained an elevated state of consciousness. Once the luminous glow has been established, look at him or her fully. See the person in this enlightened state. As you look at the person you love, notice how you feel. See how your breathing changes, or how the tension in your body is released, or maybe that your heart feels fuller and warmer. Notice all the physiological changes you experience in response to seeing this enlightened loved one. Close this visualization practice with three deep breaths.

What is miraculous about this practice is not what happens in your visualization, but rather what happens afterward when you see this person again. You will see—in real life—that person’s inner glow and relate to his or her glowing highest self! This improves and enlightens your relationship with this person. When we consistently relate to another’s highest self, that person rises to meet us in response and everyone leaves the interaction uplifted.

 

*excerpted from Alanna Kaivalya’s book, Yoga Beyond the Mat: How to Make Yoga Your Spiritual Practice (Llewellyn Worldwide), available everywhere books are sold.